Behind the Facade: The "False Self" of the Narcissist | Psychology Today
Narcissists can’t afford to be vulnerable at all—especially not to themselves. Remember, they need to believe the lie. So they make up a fictitious false self who is everything the narcissist is not: the entitled, superior, inflated, and grandiose self fed by the narcissist’s fantasies and what they can squeeze out of sources of narcissistic supply.
This mask, which the narcissist thinks is real, hides the insecure and damaged part of the NP and chases way feelings of depression, abandonment, and shame. It protects her from painful feelings. Affirmations of the false self keep the mask in good repair. If they’re not forthcoming, she demands them in one way or another in the ways that make the relationship a wild ride on a rollercoaster (which no one understands besides other people who have a loved one with NPD). The NP’s success in maintaining this illusion makes you continually doubt yourself since you rarely receive validation of what you are going through.
CEOs and psychopaths common psychological ties
In a study published by the journal Psychology, Crime and Law, Belinda Board and Katarina Fritzon tested 39 senior managers and chief executives from leading British businesses. They compared the results to the same tests on patients at Broadmoor special hospital, where people who have been convicted of serious crimes are incarcerated. On certain indicators of psychopathy, the bosses’s scores either matched or exceeded those of the patients. In fact, on these criteria, they beat even the subset of patients who had been diagnosed with psychopathic personality disorders.
The psychopathic traits on which the bosses scored so highly, Board and Fritzon point out, closely resemble the characteristics that companies look for. Those who have these traits often possess great skill in flattering and manipulating powerful people. Egocentricity, a strong sense of entitlement, a readiness to exploit others and a lack of empathy and conscience are also unlikely to damage their prospects in many corporations.
Narcissists want weddings, not marriage - CNN.com
Narcissists lack self-esteem and live in an internal world, one that they can attract another person to and form a relationship around because they can read other people and manipulate them. It becomes a parasitic relationship, with all of the affection going to the narcissist
In terms of weddings:
the focus is on the show and not the long-term or reality of the relationship
I wrote more about that here.
RSA Animate - The Secret Powers of Time (by theRSAorg)
Great talk :) Watch the whole thing.
Notes :
Notes: people have a slower time perspective towards the equator.
School makes people more future oriented.
Faster pace of life-> more heart attacks.
Hurtful how people are prioritizing work over life.
Photoshopping is much more widespread and changing than thought. There is a campaign to add a disclaimer that an image has been retouched.
The Photoshop Effect (by diethealth)
Also see the follow video here:
Love music? Thank dopamine.
You get a dopamine rush in anticipation of an emotional moment in a song, and another as it comes.
Try The McGurk Effect! - Horizon: Is Seeing Believing? - BBC Two (by BBC)
Comparing the addictiveness of different drugs....great table
Drug Mean Pleasure Psychological Dependence Physical Dependence
Heroin 3.00 3.0 3.0 3.0
Cocaine 2.37 3.0 2.8 1.3
Alcohol 1.93 2.3 1.9 1.6
Tobacco 2.23 2.3 2.6 1.8
Barbiturates 2.01 2.0 2.2 1.8
Benzodiazepines 1.83 1.7 2.1 1.8
Amphetamine 1.67 2.0 1.9 1.1
Cannabis 1.47 1.9 1.7 0.8
LSD 1.23 2.2 1.1 0.3
Ecstasy 1.13 1.5 1.2 0.7
What kinds of psychotherapy are effective? - Quora
All therapies work….for someone.
The research still says it is the therapist and your rapport with them which seems to have the largest influence. That said, I had to hire a full time staff for my 24/7 inpatient program years ago. After getting through the basic résumé, I had each candidate write a one page paper on their therapy style. When they came in for their interview I had them be the therapist and I role played a pissed off druggy. Within a few minutes, over 85 % did not do what was on that sheet of paper. They slid into what style matched their personality when they got stressed. I identified which style they were really using and asked them to consider using it instead. Addicts could spot someone that was not congruent and drive a truck though them. I found the interviewee typically identified with the schools preference they happened to have trained under. They didn’t get the job.
In addition, I have found patients need different types of therapy over time. It is very hard to get someone to work in session week after week. Sometimes they just want to come in and tell their story. But I have had many people come in from other therapist who primarily used what I call the dream-whip nightmare of sweet agreement/ question. “And how does that make you feel” till the client wanted to scream. They didn’t offer skills or training. Realization only gets you so far. Others sell behaviorism as a rat-in-the-maze cure all until the rat is out of the maze and returns to previous patterns. Sociopaths learn to play rule-players like a fiddle. Some of the most credentialed people I have known where unethical or bad therapist as far as I was concerned. A number of people had such bad experiences they vowed never to try it again.
I am way too blunt for a number of people but it matches my style. I am not offended if they need to see someone else. There are some forms I prefer to use with certain patients as it will impact them better. During the initial interview I asses which style will probably get the job done most efficiently. When I was in training years ago, there was a woman therapist who had the mental strength of a wet noodle. I could not work with her but I saw her work magic with a woman that was so closed and sensitive. I knew there wasn’t another trainer the women would have risked and opened up to. You have to shop for therapy and therapist just like everything else in life.
Do You Suffer From Decision Fatigue? - NYTimes.com
Prisoners who appeared early in the morning received parole about 70 percent of the time, while those who appeared late in the day were paroled less than 10 percent of the time.
The mental work of ruling on case after case, whatever the individual merits, wore them down. This sort of decision fatigue can make quarterbacks prone to dubious choices late in the game and C.F.O.’s prone to disastrous dalliances late in the evening. It routinely warps the judgment of everyone, executive and nonexecutive, rich and poor — in fact, it can take a special toll on the poor. Yet few people are even aware of it, and researchers are only beginning to understand why it happens and how to counteract it.
How common is it for religious people to look down on those who wouldn't characterize themselves as religious? - Quora Answer 1
From personal relationships and experiences I can tell you I have never met a religious person who did not to some extent discriminate or “look down upon” atheists in some way. However, after reading your question I was intrigued enough about psychological studies or psychological reasons for religious tolerance that I have spent the last few hours researching the subject. Unfortunately, I was unable to find any psychological study done on the subject even with having access to medical and academic journals. Although,I did find quite a bit of information on the subject, a study that was not psychological and also a few cases of anti-atheism in laws. I think that even without an official study these things speak for the vast amount of discrimination against atheist in this country. I am sure that given more than just a few hours I would find some studies dealing with the subject, but I’m getting lazy and you did say you would appreciate any answers so I hope this will do until someone else can find exactly what you’re looking for.
1.
From religioustolerance.org:
The belief that Atheists should be discriminated against has been embedded in American law for centuries:
* Public office: Eight states (AR, MA, MD, NC, PA, SC, TN, and TX) have exclusionary language included in their Bill of Rights, Declaration of Rights, official oath of office, or in the body of their
constitutions. Most of them specifically exclude all Atheists and
Agnostics from holding public office. These phrases are historical
relics, left over from earlier times. The First and Fourteenth
Amendments of the U.S. Constitution supersedes these statutory laws and sections of state constitutions. It thus nullifies the effect of
the above clauses. Still, it would be almost impossible to get
citizens of any of these states to amend their constitution to end
the religious discrimination. They remain as a continuing expression
of hatred and distrust of Atheists
* Conscientious objector status: Throughout much of the 20th century, a person could not be recognized as a conscientious objector unless their beliefs against participating in a war were backed up by their religion which included a belief in God. Again, belief in any deity was sufficient. Since 1967, belief in God is no longer required.
According to Jrank.org: “…a registrant needs only a conscientious scruple against war in all forms to obtain conscientious objector status. A conscientious
scruple against war is an objection to war based on moral beliefs. A
conviction that war is wrong, arrived at solely on intellectual and
rational grounds, does not entitle one to exemption as a
conscientious objector.”
2.
Also from religioustolerance.org: University of Minnesota study of 2006:
University of Minnesota researchers conducted a telephone survey of over 2,000 households in early 2006. 4 They found that:“…Americans rate atheists below Muslims, recent immigrants, gays and lesbians and other minority groups in ‘sharing their vision of American society.’ Atheists are also the minority group most Americans are least willing to allow their children to marry.”
Lead researcher, Penny Edgell, noted that Atheists:“…offer a glaring exception to the rule of increasing social tolerance over the last 30 years. … It seems most Americans believe that diversity is fine, as long as every one shares a common ‘core’ of values that make them trustworthy—and in America, that ‘core’ has historically
been religious. … Americans believe they share more than rules and procedures with their fellow citizens—they share an understanding of right and wrong. Our findings seem to rest on a view of atheists as self-interested individuals who are not concerned with the common
good’.” 4,5
3.
According to freethoughtpedia there are many discriminations in the
law (there’s too many to paste here see link):http://www.freethoughtpedia.com/…
4.
There are also custody cases where parents are considered to be unfit
simply because of their religious status ( fromhttp://www.theatlantic.com/daily…
“In 2000, the Mississippi Supreme Court ordered a mother to take her child to church each week, reasoning that ‘it is certainly to the best interests of [the child] to receive regular and systematic spiritual training’; in 1996, the Arkansas Supreme Court did the same, partly on the grounds that weekly church attendance, rather than just the once-every-two-weeks attendance that the child would have had if he went only with the other parent, provides superior ’moral instruction.’”
Are people from rural areas less intelligent than people from cities, on average? Why or why not? - Quora
Given that there are many ways to measure intelligence (and no IQ is not sufficient, IMHO) I don’t think the answer is yes. To me at least the better (and maybe implied) question is “are rural people less educated?” This I think has a more concrete answer - we have data from a plethora of sources (NAEP, Census, USDA, etc). Obviously, we would really want to dive into city or metro data and not state by state, control for population, etc but I’ll put out some things to consider.
Educational Achievement
Tests Scores (Math and Reading)
It would be nice to have this in a visual format, but I don’t have time to mock it up right now.
http://nces.ed.gov/surveys/ruraled/assessment.asphttp://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/cats/education.htmlhttp://www.ers.usda.gov/Data/Ruraldefinitions/
Given the evidence, I don’t think you can really make that claim. Actually, you might claim being in a city makes you stupid (obvious joke is obvious).
Are women more pleasant when they’re fertile?
It’s PMS — in reverse!
Past research suggests that women alter their behaviors during periods of high fertility to attract mates. Consistent with this notion, the current research examined the interpersonal style, as defined by the interpersonal circumplex, men tend to find most attractive in potential mates and the change in women’s interpersonal styles across the menstrual cycle. In Study 1, a sample of 101 single men reported the interpersonal style they found most attractive in a potential mate. In Study 2, a sample of 86 women reported their interpersonal styles during each day of their menstrual cycle. Results indicated that men tended to prefer mates who were interpersonally warm and that women tended to become more interpersonally warm during periods of high fertility.
Source: “Changes in women’s interpersonal styles across the menstrual cycle” from Journal of Research in Personality
(via talkingshrimp)
"Neatness" is more valued in girls than boys, and that's why women have better handwriting.
they did this study that evaluated the nature/amount of teacher feedback to students. They found that most communication between teachers and students was negative, reactive, and focused on modifying behavior rather than academic performance. This is already bad. They ALSO found that feedback directed at boys was usually about failure to follow rules, while feedback directed at girls was positive, and usually about compliance and neatness.
If a girl receives positive reinforcement (in the form of praise or acknowledgment) for being neat, she’s more likely to value pretty handwriting. Moreover, kids are amazingly good at picking up on differences in how you treat people. Even if they can’t explicitly say it, it is understood that neatness is something that is valued in GIRLS but not boys. This may even disincentivize neat handwriting in boys.
This continues throughout life. It’s “cool” for boys to be sloppy and not care, as demonstrated by their language and behavior, and the fact that they take pride on spending little time on things.
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